Sunday, November 11, 2007


Criminal Minds: How well do you really know which Criminal Minds writer writes each episode of Criminal Minds? Lets see. What is your one favorite line from any episode of Criminal Minds and who is the writer who wrote it? Who is the Criminal Minds character who spoke it and which episode of Criminal Minds did it come from?


Anonymous said...

Zelman wrote it. "Psychodrama"

Elle said, "Hardcore or not, you've got the wrong scumbag"

Anonymous said...

Reid: I know what it's like to be afraid of your own mind. I am pretty sure it was Sex, Birth, Death and the writer was Chris Mundy.

This line gave me some insight into Reid's fears for his own mental health.

Anonymous said...


Garcia: "Gorgeous tech kitten found in lonely, dark parking lot, throat slashed ear-to-ear. Horrific. Tragic. With the very files of one of the most prolific serial killers ever."

NWO2 by Simon Mirren

Anonymous said...

Best Line EVER was said by Garcia in "Extreme Agressor" written by Jeff Davis: Well gorgeous, you've been rerouted to the Office of Too Friggin' Bad. I almost wet myself.

Sigrid said...

I have so, so many favorites. but this one is from 'Legacy'. and is written by Ed Bernero, I believe.

"This morning, I decided to save your life."

Anonymous said...

L.D.S.K. by Andrew Wilder when Reid said:

Hotch, I was a 12-year-old child prodigy in a Las Vegas public high school. You kick like a 9-year-old girl.

Elizabeth said...

Andrew Wilder wrote LDSK, one of my favourite episodes.

And I love Reid's line to Hotch at the end:

"Hotch, I was a 12-year-old child prodigy in a Las Vegas public high
school. You kick like a 9-year-old girl."

(I also adore the little exchange between Garcia and Reid in The Fox that ellen picked)

Anonymous said...

Haley to Hotch when Gideon calls "It's your wife" from Machismo by Aaron Zelman. I chuckled.

Anonymous said...

I'm doing two but they are from 1 episode (my favorite) so they count as 1. Both from Plain Sight writer was Eddie B.

Sunshine, I can run CentCom from here and still participate in simultaneous Tetris tournaments. Said by Garcia to Elle.

Peaches, this is the Office of Unmitigated Superiority. I am always ready. With the awesome power I have in this room, all I need is 15 seconds on the phone to nail this skeevy perv. Said by Garcia to JJ

Anonymous said...

Lady to my Reid "You look like a pipe cleaner with eyes. I could snap you like a twig"

Identity by writer Oanh Ly

Anonymous said...

I'm going with a recent one because it signified a change in Morgan to me. Identity written by Oanh Ly.

"There’s one thing you’ll learn about me, Rossi. I’m relentless. I’ll find out."

Nobody on the team has put a higher importance on personal privacy than Morgan and to me this signals a change in the way he is thinking.

Anonymous said...

So many good ones in Fisher King Two by Ed Bernero. Hard to choose.

Garcia said: Your mom read you valentine's poems? Hello, therapy.

Anonymous said...

Garcia: Or what, you’ll spank me? She said it to Morgan in Children of the Dark by Dan Dworkin and Jay Beattie

Anonymous said...

That’s all it takes for a child to disappear said by Hotch. As a mom with a newborn it scared the crap out of me and I will never forget it. From 7 seconds by Andi Bushell.

Anonymous said...

Reid in the Chinese restaurant to Morgan who is teasing him about not being able to use chopsticks:
It's like trying to forage for dinner with a pair of number two pencils. It was written by Chris Mundy for Real Rain.

Anonymous said...

The first time we heard Dr. Reid be really snarky was in Secrets & Lies by Simon Mirren when he said "Call me cynical, but considering it's 2 a.m., I doubt it's good news." I was shocked because he had never been overtly snarky before. Poor baby was tired.

Emma said...

I have so many, but here is one that hasn't been mentioned yet.

Elle: Your guys we're here in New York and even when we're not talking about our case we end up talking about another profiler.

Hotch: Your right, so Elle are you seeing anyone?

A real rain, written by Chris Mundy

Anonymous said...

Reid: "Where are you going?"

Morgan: "Taking the last five minutes of my life back."

"Identity" writer was Oanh Ly

Anonymous said...

There are so many. One of my favorite episodes is "Derailed" I love the the banter between Elle and Gideon about being called dad.
Elle and Reid about Reid saving her life. Reid begging the guys to at least look like there going to see him again. But my favorite is the quote. I use it at the end of all my e-mails and it sums me up perfectly or so my friends say.
"The question that sometimes drives me hazy, am I, or the others crazy?"-Albert Einstein. Said by the lovable Dr. Reid in "Derailed" written by Jeff Davis.

Anonymous said...

oh so many wonderful lines...

a very recent fave that hasn't had a mention so far is the whole Elevator scene with Reid and Morgan in Scared to Death, written by Debra J Fisher and Erica Messer.

In particular...Reid, in a rather nervy state, quoting stats on elevator related deaths and injuries...

'..there are 6 elevator deaths per year, not to mention 10,000 injuries that require hospitalisation. Chill out!'

Love it

Anonymous said...

Fire and Enya by Andrew Wilder.

Hotchner talking to Gideon when he said: I catch killers, I save lives, I'm a hero until my key hits my front door and then I'm just the father and the husband who is never there.

That broke my heart.

Anonymous said...

Oh mine is from Enya too by Andrew Wilder. My favorite Garcia said "Brace yourselves. I'm going to teach you the meaning of lust."

Anonymous said...

OMG I can't remember the episode and I would know the writer if I could remember the episode name.

Gideon telling Morgan..what he said I said I said.

I loved that so much much was said with so little words.

Help someone! What was the episode? I don't want to have to start rewatching all of season two just to find it. I have classes tomorrow. This is going to haunt me all night now.

Anonymous said...

Vicki, it was Empty Planet, now go study. :)
Being a geek, loved the pilot Extreme Aggressor by Jeff Davis where Gideon did the quote about trying and failing,Morgan does the Yoda quote, and Reid has to clue in the puzzled Gideon. It set the tone that this was an intelligent show but cool and hip!

Anonymous said...

Fisher king Part 1...Ed Bernero

cop: "Where's the victim's head?"
Elle: "well i must have dropped it on my way in here"

still cracks me

Anonymous said...

Ellen stole mine. I laugh out loud everytime I think of that quote. Nobody can deliver a line like Garcia. Kirsten has incredible timing. Now I have to think of another one.

We should do one of these but naming the "look". Nobody can give "looks" like our cast. We could do best tackles but we all know who would win that one. lol

Anonymous said...

Extreme Aggressor by Jeff Davis.

They don’t call them nervous breakdowns anymore. - Gideon

Anonymous said...

Garcia: We'll be able to find out whether Princess Diana's death was really an accident.

She said it to JJ when she realized that she would be using the CIA computer. JJ explained that this kind of logic was probably why Garcia was on the CIA's watch list. It was so like Garcia to want to find out that kind of info and then the closing scene when she was racing the clock to get Prince William's phone number was priceless.

Secrets & Lies- Simon Mirren

Anonymous said...

Ed Napier and "Blood Hungry"

Watching Garcia have a slow mental meltdown from having Gideon with her while the team was gone did it for me. She wanted to kick his butt and it was terrific.

Hotchner: How is it having Gideon around?

Garcia: You can have him back whenever you would like.

I can't remember the lines from the end but they were great too. When she was taking the boxes back to Gideon's office and she dumped one into Hotch's hands. She looked like she was in need of medication.

Anonymous said...

I can't pick just one, I just can't. Sooooo I'll go with a few people haven't mentioned that I just love:

Reid: I don't know everything. I mean, despite the fact that you think I do.
Morgan: I never said that. When have I ever said that?
Reid: Every day since I met you.
Elle: This morning at breakfast.
Hotchner: Yesterday when he beat you at cards.
~"Broken Mirror" by Judith McCreary

Blackwolf: Samuel, tell the men from the FBI who the Ga'he are.
Reid: The Ga'he are mighty spirits who dwell in desert caves.
Hotchner: Reid, is your name Samuel?
Reid: Sorry.
~"The Tribe" by Andrew Wilder

Morgan: [mimicking Lila after she shares Reid's drink] You don't mind sharing with me, do ya?
Reid: Shut up. [turns and walks away]
Morgan: Go get 'em, lover.
~"Somebody's Watching" by Ed Napier

Morgan: Oh, one last thing. Look up the words "sexy" and "brilliant" in that computer of yours, and tell me what you come up with.
Garcia: Look at that, it's me.
Morgan: You are a goddess, woman. Ciao. [to surrounding fertility clinic patients, most of whom are paying rapt attention] ...It was a work call.
~"Aftermath" by Chris Mundy

JJ: [while playing gin] Oh I'm beating you, genius.
Reid: Genius Doctor Reid let you win.
~"Empty Planet" by Ed Napier

Garcia: [regarding Lysowsky] He served 23 years in four remote prisons at Perm, that is a remote region of the Northern Ural Mountains, for those of you playing the home game.
~"Honor Among Thieves" by Aaron Zelman

Anonymous said...

Big brave Morgan in the elevator!

"Scared to Death"
Erica Messer

Hotchner: Was that the alarm? Are you guys okay?

Reid: I’ll get back to you on that.

Of course Morgan denied being scared but we all knew. I loved it.

Anonymous said...

About Face (Skipp Sudduth)

Rossi: She's different.
Hotchner: You have no idea.

Don't mess with Texas Rossi and don't mess with Garcia!

Anonymous said...

Here goes:

North Mammon written by Andrew Wilder and the quotes (I am cheating too! Deal with it!)

Garcia said- He who seeks the queen of all knowledge speak and be recognized.
Reid said- Garcia we are sending you some cigarettes.
Garcia said- Why not a flesh eating virus? It'll be faster and far less painful.

Anonymous said...

"It was a work call" said by Morgan and written by Chris Mundy in "Aftermath"

Anonymous said...

LDSK by Andrew Wilder!

Garcia: That right now you were thinking about me, and out of the blue your phone rings? And it's me. Huh? How's that for a spiritual connection?

Morgan: Umm... Do I know you?

Garcia: Why do you hurt me?

Has anyone else besides me noticed that so many of our favs are Garcia! They all have that character down to a science!

Anonymous said...

Gideon: Don't ever call me dad again.
Elle: What do you think he'd feel about mom?
Reid: Let me know when you're going to do that so I can run.

Jeff Davis, Derailed!

Very much in line with our "who are the parents" questions.

Anonymous said...

Nobody has done Revelations yet by Chris Mundy!

Hotch- Think of this house as a witness. If it could talk, what would it tell us?
Garcia- My guess is it would tell us to get the hell out.

Anonymous said...

"The Fox" written by by Simon Mirren.

When Garcia says to Reid:

"We'll go to prison and you'll become someone's bitch"

That even makes me chuckle as I write this :)

Anonymous said...

JJ: Why didn’t you say something in the car?

Said to Reid when he stated he needed to go to the bathroom and by me to my children every time we go any place. lol.

The Big Game (EAB)

Anonymous said...

Every phone call Garcia has ever had written by all the writers.

Anonymous said...

Natural Born Killer. Debra Fisher and Erica Messer wrote..

MORGAN: Please tell me you brought some breakfast.

GARCIA: Huh. Trust me sugar, you are not going to want to eat when you see what's in here.

Anonymous said...

Oh and this one too. Others cheated so I am too.

Garcia said~ Ten bucks says this involves naked coeds and a plumber.

Anonymous said...

Riding the Lightning. Writer was Simon Mirren.

You do know that visiting death row is not part of my job description.

Garcia on the way to death row.

Anonymous said...

"We'll go to prison and you'll become someone's bitch" is of course a line no cm fan will ever forget! Great line.

Here is another awesome one:

"Secrets & Lies" by S. Mirren

Garcia said, Looking for Prince William's phone number. The CIA is bound to have it.

Anonymous said...

Ed Bernero in FK2:

Reid: He had a bomb.

Morgan: You didn't think we needed to know that?

Reid: I told you to go downstairs.

Morgan: Well, you didn't say bomb. You left that part out.

I think at the time they were putting out the fire on Reid's butt!

Anonymous said...

"Profiler, Profiled" by Edward Bernero.

Gideon to Hotch: Oh, come on, Hotch, we all have secrets. Would you want us profiling you?

**I was screaming at the tv. Yes. Profile him so we can get a handle on his backstory.

Anonymous said...

NWO2- Simon Mirren kills Ed's daughter Amanda's character Rebecca and we have another wonderful Carradine episode.

Frank: "Hi.I regret to inform you that Rebecca's name should be moved to a new list."

(Naughty Simon)

Anonymous said...

Chris Mundy started the storyline that everyone talks about in "Revelations".

Reid said Please can I have a second alone?

And we are still waiting for a conclusion for the Reid and drugs story!

Anonymous said...

I want to know which writer came up with the box.

head in a box
finger in a box

and didn't we have another body part in a box?

They love boxes!

slashgirl said...

I can rarely choose one of anything....

From Natural Born Killer (Debra Fisher and Erica Messer)

Vincent Perotta: You said some people grow up to become killers.
Hotchner: And some people grow up to catch them


From Revelations (Chris Mundy)
Reid (to Hotch): I knew you'd understand.

srangerfan said...

Mine would have to be:

Elle: "Dude!"
Morgan: "Dude? You're way too tense."
from "Blood Hungry" written by Ed Napier.


Morgan: "Well, you all right there, Greenaway?"
Elle: "Go away."
Morgan: "See you tomorrow?"
Elle: "Afternoon."
Guy: "Afternoon?"
Elle: "Don't speak."
from "The Fisher King, Part 1" by Ed Bernero.

I've got one more too. =]

Prentiss: [she holds up her badge] "Tell me Brad, does it look anything like this?"
from "Open Season" by Erica Messer and Debra J. Fisher.

Anonymous said...

Plain Sight by Ed Bernero:

Reid to Gideon "Do you know she's the only person in the whole world who calls me Spence" and then he does that cute snicker thing.

I also like this one....
P911 by Simon Mirren:

Morgan to Reid..."Come on genius, do something genius like."

Sarahm said...

my fav:

from the arty lesbian to Gideon:
I've always had this thing for middle-aged men. And you have these piercing, discerning eyes which remind me of my father, who
was a shrink. And I'm like, God, I am so hot.

~"Somebody's Watching" by
Ed Napier

//so wrong in so many ways! I love it! And Gideon was all 'we're out of here NOW'

Anonymous said...

Distress by Oahn Ly

Morgan: Garcia, I better not ever find any Photoshop pictures of me.
Garcia: Oh trust me my vision. You will never find them.

--I want to see them,lol.

Anonymous said...

I was shocked that Elle blamed Hotch instead of Gideon for her being shot.

The last time you sent me home, Hotch, it got me shot. Elle

'Aftermath' by Chris Mundy.